"John Wayne died with 40 pounds of crap impacted in his colon."
Better to have a heap of solid ---- impacted where it belongs than to regurgitate it multiple times daily through one's preferred social media platform of choice.
"I have a colostomy"
Coincidentally, so does Trump, although his stoma is shaped in the form of a snarky, pursed-lipped blonde at a podium and the container used to collect and store his ---- is a red and white cesspool known as MAGA.
"We went to a nice steak restaurant the other day."
I no longer go to restaurants unless it is a local coffeeshop to buy a coffee so I can over-tip the underappreciated employees.
That is not chivalry nor a form of humblebrag. That is simply old fashioned common sense.